Thursday, July 12, 2012

Surprise Trip Yields Disastrous Results: Part 1 (First Two Days)

I write this to you in pain. Not the usual type of pain I get on a daily basis with IBS, but rather a pain from sitting in a car for nine hours with only two rest stops while not having "evacuated" in around five days.

"Ouch," you might have said. But "ouch" doesn't really do this type of agony justice. You have to say something like:"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Over exaggeration, maybe? But how would you know if you haven't experienced it?

Anyways, I will further discuss this awful surprise trip I took which lasted five days in total. This post is a little long as I talk about each day in a fair amount of detail, but bear with me if you will.

Sunday Morning: Departure 

This July 8th Sunday morning started as expected: woke up at six o'clock to watch a stage in The Tour de France and also ate my daily does of prunes. Next, I turned on the television to actually watch the stage. Midway through the program, I was interrupted by my mother who said, "time to go to" rather innocently.

"What are you talking about?" replied myself. "Where are we going? I hope we aren't going to go apartment searching again." 

"Unfortunately we are," retorted my mother. "And you're going whether you like it or not."

The problem with this trip is not the fact that I don't like car rides. As I mentioned in my introduction, car trips in itself are fun. The thought of having severe nausea/constipation/bloating/dyspepsia is not. And to top it all off, I have an eight hour date with the car before I arrive at my destination.

I couldn't imagine a better way to start the day! A surprise sojourn that would induce the worst pain in my life! FUN!

I'm not going to go into great detail about the car trip, becasue one word can sum it up: terrible; atrocious; horrendous. Ok, maybe I needed a little more than one word.

The trip itself started out marvelously. My stomach wasn't hurting, there was no excess gas buildup, and no indigestion of any kind. A picture perfect beginning in my opinion.

That's when the first mistake was made. About three hours into our trek, we decided to stop at a fast food restaurant for the sake of alleviating our hunger. The choice of restaurant was poor, however. Next time McDonald's is not on the list of places to eat...

Obviously Mickey D's is an awful place to eat anytime, especially while traveling. The amount of chemicals they use to keep their food "fresh" is almost equivalent to a light case of food poisoning. But, for me personally, it was the type of food that I ate which caused me later problems. Instead of getting one their chicken wraps, I settled on an Angus burger. And instead of just drinking water, I had two 16 oz. cups full of a dark soda.

Add fries to my meal, and it spells double trouble.

Well, two hours after that (five hours into our trip), I was bloated.

 Ok, maybe I was more than just a little bloated. I looked six months pregnant. Sitting in a car for hours on end didn't help my cause at all. (Getting up wasn't that great, either)

Three hours after this near-fatal meal, my family stopped at a Cracker Barrel about one hour from our destination. Apparently the gas trapped inside of my body for a third of the day finally got to me, and I became severely nauseous. Enough to make me run to toilet just in case...

Long story short, I walked the outskirts of the restaurant while my family ate inside. I got a takeout, so I could eat the food at a later time when I was feeling better.

I finished out the last hour of the journey fairly strong, managing to fight the nausea off and only get a little heartburn in return.

At around 8:00 p.m. I felt well enough to eat my takeout food. But, I was very tentative when I took the first couple of bites.

Soothing, relaxing Lipton decaffeinated green tea lulled me to sleep around 11:00 pm.

Twas the end of a physically and emotionally challenging day.

Monday: Wanting to Go Back Already 

But a mere twelve hours after arriving in the now former apartment complex, I had a strong desire to return home. Maybe it was the fact that I slept on the floor, or maybe it was the excess gas buildup I achieved during the ride that spurred this response.

The smell of breakfast - usually my favorite meal of the day - was enough to gag me. Fortunately, I managed to run into the kitchen, grab the prunes and Oat Bran cereal, and get out of there before inhaling too much of that deplorable stench.

After eating that "wonderful" meal of fiber, my parents and sister (the one who we were apartment shopping for) decided to browse some of the available listings via iPad on Craigslist. Long thought and careful discussion led to the conclusion that "checking out" a couple of the places was necessary before even considering the final move.

I decided to stay at the apartment for the greater majority of the day. You never know when things could take a turn for the worse...

My family and I decided to eat in in this even, seeing that my problems could increase at any time. Fortunately my stomach held together all right until bedtime in which I needed an Alla-Seltlzer to relieve my heartburn.  

After taking the ant-acid, I slept soundly like Rip Van Winkle.

Part 2 is coming tomorrow.

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